I’m Confused about this other Guy

Please, I don’t want my identity disclosed. I am 26 years old. I work, stay in a comfortable 2-bed room apartment and pay my bills. I have been dating this guy for 3 years plus since I was in the university, but I broke up with him when he proposed to me with a customised car and diamond ring. Not because I didn’t care about him, but we had serious issues that made me cry, feel lonely and sad. I knew if I marry him I would cheat on him, cause he has no time for me and marriage wouldn’t change that.

He has been everything to me especially finance. He owns a company which I work for till date. I thought I was at the point I’ve always prayed for in life. I frequent his mansion and lived there anytime I want. At a point, I was next in position in his company. Aside from him, I made decisions and had access to millions of naira cause he sent me money to my personal account to manage the company.

But little did I know all these can’t give genuine happiness. I needed attention, care, friendship and a good love making which we hardly do cause he is barely in the country. And even when he is, he is chasing money.

Ok, then I met this guy February last year. He will be 35 years old in October. As a matter of fact, he had all I was lacking expect the money, not that he is broke. He has two lovely cars and was quite comfortable but can’t be compared to my ex.

The problem is I feel he has been testing me and I’m almost giving up. He hardly gives me cash but rather complains each time that he is broke. He can travel out anytime if he wants to. Most times he would even complain no money to buy fuel, shave or even do the thinnest things for me. And this really hurts me, I have talked to him severally about it that this is pulling me apart. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he should take up my whole responsibilities cause I still work, but his reaction to things about me, him and us especially monetary begins to make me wonder cause from all I know he can do all of them if he wants to but choose not to.

Few times he would say he has learnt from his past and doesn’t want to make a mistake. We stay in the same town with his parents and siblings, yet I haven’t met them in person, though I have spoken with them over the phone.



Thanks for writing. But I have few questions for you that I think will give you the answer you need.

Did you try to speak to the previous guy about how you needed his attention and presence? Maybe, he feels that you are comfortable since you have not asked or talked to him about your feelings and thought about the relationship and the future. We all need attention, care, and good friendship. Communication is very important in every relationship, tell your partner how you feel about his travelling and what you need from him.

Another thing. try not to compare your previous relationship with your present relationship, it may cause some regrets or high expectations for you in your relationships. For the second guy, I think you are in a relationship with someone who is not in a relationship with you. What is his response to those discussions, because I think you have your answers already. Did he give you reasons for his attitude? Did he accept to change? Your conversations with him will inform you if he is ready and serious about the relationship or not. Good Luck.



Culled from Break_or_makeup 

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